sleeping child
by dollars1991
Summary: what happens when ciel got a letter that leads to his family murder, what if he didnt really wanna go just yet...  erm... this summary kinda suck... pretend u didnt see it k    the story doesn't really flow with the anime or manga, oocness is everywhere!


Kuroshitsuji 

Title: sleeping child

Warning: contains BL, homophobes turn away now!

Pairing: Sebastian X Ciel

Disclaimer: I do not own kuroshitsuji or any of the characters

'Ahhhh!'

Once again with a shrilling scream Ciel had woken from his dreams.

There was nothing special about his dream, it was not different form any other dreams; every night it was the same dream. However, he had never considered them as nightmares. It was not because he did not fear them or anything. It's because this was his only dream, since the day he lost his family, this was all he can dream.

'Bochan,' Ciel looked up to his butler from his dazed state. It was 4 in the morning, but Sebastian was there, he was always there.

'You should rest more; this morning will start early as the Queen's guest would be arriving at around 10, or would you like to start the preparations now?'

That was Sebastian, always there but always very distant. But Ciel understands, he didn't expect Sebastian to be caring or close to him, he was a demon after all and no demon in the right mind would actually care for a mere human being. He knows that he was just merely food; there is nothing he can do to change that. That was what he chose to be. He did not regret it but deep down he wanted to be different, different form all the rest.

Ciel always find this part of him amusing, he was always trying to be different but yet this very effort became a reminder of his human self. Slowly, he realized that all humans wanted to be different or even think that they are different but it was not the case, they were all there same. They all face one thing, death.

Ciel knew he was no different. The only difference was the way of dying, this maybe the only choice given to all humans in their road of life.

So he decided to become what Sebastian wanted him to be, he wanted to be something worthy for him. So he tried his best and did everything he could to get his revenge. But each step closer he gets to it, the more he wanted to run away from it. He wants to impress Sebastian yet dreads the day of his revenge. To tell the truth, revenge wasn't that important to him anymore, all he wanted was a little more time. More time to be with someone, someone who knew him before he became the lord of the Phantomhive household, someone who knew his weakness.

However, this was the only truth that he wanted to keep deep in his heart as this would only prove his unworthiness to Sebastian.

Sebastian seemed to notice the changes in his master and called out to him once again, this time he got a sigh out from him.

'Sebastian, you will be with me till the end right?'

'Yes, my lord.' Sebastian answered, not quite sure where is this going.

'What if I give up or I became tried of this, will you still be there?'

'…'

Seeing no answer given from his butler, Ciel smiled.

'I will continue on, I just wanted to see your reaction. I guess you are right, I should get some sleep. Goodnight, Sebastian.'

With that Ciel went back to bed, counting down the hours to sunrise.

The next day finally came, everything went perfectly, how could it not with such a butler. It was around noon when Ciel finally settled down in front of his desk to get the reviews off the day. It was then a letter came, for once it was not from the Queen but from some unknown sender. The letter seemed to show leads to his family's death, it was another step forward for his revenge. Sebastian was quite delighted when he saw the letter but Ciel…

'I do not believe this letter.' Ciel stated, trying his best to hide the shakiness in his voice.

'But Bochan, this may worth further investigation don't you think?'

'I… I don't care! I just don't believe it okay! I just….'

'Ciel Phantomhive, are you trying to delay your deal with me?'

The sudden change of tone stop Ciel from continuing, it not that he had nothing more to say. It just seems that he didn't have the courage to oppose to something that he knew was the very truth.

'Fine! I will go… but that will be tomorrow.'

_But give me tonight, stay with me … at least for now…_

Those were the word Ciel never got to say as he was never meant to say it.

**Page break Page break Page break Page break Page break Page break Page break **

The next morning came a little too quickly for Ciel, he didn't dream this time neither did he slept. That maybe the last night he would have, he can't afford to waste it. The whole night he was thinking about who he would miss, would it be Elizabeth, Finny and gang, that stupid prince or maybe even the undertaker( but he know he would meet him very soon). But no, he didn't thought of any of them; it was not that he doesn't have feeling for them… It was just because, they weren't that important. They weren't there when he lost his family, they weren't there when he was being tortured, they didn't know him that well. The person they knew was Ciel Phantomhive, not him.

He then realized that he really had nothing to lose purely because he didn't have anything in the first place and the only thing he thought he had didn't really belong to him.

Sebastian didn't really belong to him, he knew it all along, he just knew it…

So here he was, in front of so called enemy but surprisingly he had no hatred for the guy, he was just doing his job and now Ciel is doing his. His job was to kill that guy, no hesitation was required, there was no point, he just wanted to end it.

But standing in front of his butler, he hesitated. He had a sense of longing; he wanted to stay, at least just for a while longer even though he knew that he can't. He was human after all right? It was human nature to want what you can't get right? And it also human to also not get what you want…. So what more can he do but to wait for the end to come.

The end did come, or he thought so…

'It not yet over, my master…' Sebastian smiled down at Ciel's sleeping form.

To him Ciel was special; he was different even if he didn't realize it. Sebastian would not deny that Ciel was just another meal to him in the beginning. But thanks to his liking of 'playing with his food' he realized that the boy was different. He was not as shallow as the rest, his soul was different. He wanted that soul, not as food but as companion.

The letter and all was just part of his plan to test Ciel, to show his weakness. He wanted to see if the boy feared his death, he wanted to see if he would beg for his life.

But the boy didn't.

That boy accepted his fate so easily while fighting so hard to make a change in his past. It seems as if he didn't want anything more or that he didn't have anything to begin with.

Sebastian knew this was the very reason he chose Ciel, but part of him wanted Ciel to reach out to him, to depend on him. Not physically, but emotionally.

At that thought, Sebastian tightens his hold on Ciel.

He looks down again and his eyes soften, he had always liked watching the boy sleep. It was only then that Ciel was his thirteen year old self. Because while watching the young Phantomhive, everyone tends to forget how young he actually is. Some of his acts may seemed childish to other but no one had actually stopped to think that he is really just a child, this was actually how he was suppose to act.

Sebastian knew Ciel had nightmare every night, which was why he was there every night. He wanted to see if the boy would reach out to him, but he realized that would never happen. That boy had pride; he knew where he should stand and how he should act. Sebastian hated that pride, yet it was this very characteristic that brought them together.

Maybe in the near future, Sebastian could reach out to him. However, now was not the time, Sebastian still didn't have the courage to make Ciel his only weakness and the boy still had much to learn.

Maybe someday Sebastian would have enough power to protect this weakness of his, but till that day he would not let go because he realized he can't anymore. So maybe in this time he could give Ciel a better childhood, this time with him in it.

With a gentle kiss on Ciel's lips he marked that as a promise and he made sure that it was stronger then the deal that they already had.

It would be in the future where Sebastian would tell Ciel about this promise, but now the butler had something more important to think about… Like how to tell his master, that the letter was a fraud…

End.

**A/N: yay! Finally its done! I actually wanted to write something more M rated… but then it came out sooo damn bloody mellow…. Im not sure of wanting to continue this story, but I will think about it~ btw Jovi sorry arh….I will write your songfic one! But wait until I think of something first k =) we all know patience is a virtue. **

**Anyway hope u all like it! pls review even thought my grammer sucks! Tell me if u dun like it also. (I will try my best not to look at it haha!)**


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